His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
