i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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