I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize