I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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