There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
