pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
