no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
