yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
