My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
