In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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