wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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