Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
