I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
