Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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