The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
operation have a gay friend backfired
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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