come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
