he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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