Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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