How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
