so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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