I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
