so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
