Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
