Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
