we have pet lesbian snakes
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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