Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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