Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
