just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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