you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
smell my finger.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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