Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
