i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
