you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
