your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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