Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize