whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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