I wish they made helmets for livers.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My breasts were aching with rage.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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