I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
