So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
