bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
