I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
