Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
