im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
