Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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