i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
