It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It's just like the Real World with babies
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize