what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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