My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
