the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
