Your face is a jimmy john
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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