I want to stick my p in your. b.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
