the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Randomize
