didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
