how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
