I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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