well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
