were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
