I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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