I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
