lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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