So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
