why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
