I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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